Brittany from Mummy.in.Wonderland is a wife and a mum of two beautiful boys. This article she wrote couldn’t have come at a better time – I was only speaking recently about how I’ve stopped taking time out for me and how hubby and I need to reinstate date night. Thanks for the reminder Brittany x
It’s not just our kids who need time out…
although, time out in an adults world isn’t usually spent sitting in an assigned area for a designated amount of time thinking about what we did wrong!
As hubby and I drove off the other night for date night I felt a pang of mother’s guilt once we turned the corner out of my parents’ street. Our usual happy and easy going toddler who barely notices when we walk out the door cried as I said goodbye… and then he reached out for me! It broke me. But if I didn’t get away from the kids for a few hours that would have broken me more.
How often as a parent do we feel guilty for even admitting we need time out? I know I certainly do. There are those supercharged on life mothers that seem to just be running on an endless supply of energy and love that don’t need a break, or won’t admit they need a break and then there are the mothers like me. The ones that will openly say “hey I’m tired over here” and given the opportunity for even a five minute break to pee without an audience will snatch it up.
I feel so lucky to have the opportunity to not only be a mother of two beautiful and cheeky boys but to be a stay at home mother too. I will never take my boys or my home time with them for granted as I know there are so many other parents out there who would kill for the life I have. But when I fell pregnant at 21 with my firstborn I was still very young and trying to discover who I was outside of high school and living at home, so I made a promise to not lose myself completely to motherhood. Yes my child came first, now children. They always will. But I need to be a priority also. Time apart from our children allows us to reflect, recharge and re-balance.
Admitting this doesn’t make you a bad person. Parenthood is this beautiful cocktail of sleepless nights, sloppy kisses, messy fingers and bad tempers with a sprinkle of smiles on top to sweeten it all but I highly encourage all parents to schedule in a little “you time”.
However you choose to spend your time though, spend it wisely and don’t waste those golden hours away from the kids. Soak in the silence, enjoy a meal in peace, surround yourself with adult conversations and music… find an activity that allows you time to de-stress and just be you for a moment.
My husband and I are pretty simple when it comes to date night. We don’t need fancy dinners, we reserve them for those lucky occasions we slip away into the city for a night. There is nothing we love more than heading out to see a mo/////vie followed by frozen yogurt from our favourite frozen yogurt shop. We always sit outside and people watch while we eat our delicious treat, feeling just a little bit naughty that our boys aren’t there to enjoy it but it’s our time. We watch the people go by, give them elaborate back stories and a fantasy life, we always debrief about the movie we have just seen as we like to dissect it piece by piece and then my husband will peer into my yogurt cup and ask “what did you get this time” and I will reply “same as always”!
So please mothers and fathers of the world… go to time out. You pick the place, you pick the time and think about all the things you’re doing right as a parent. The parenthood journey is a tough one and in that moment when you think perhaps you’re not doing it right, you are. You’re doing it perfectly @mummy.in.wonderland xx