I love a party and any excuse to set up an event. For the last few weeks we (ok, let’s be honest – I) have been planning our son’s 4 year old party. Yet I hadn’t been as motivated or organised as previous parties and that was partly due to sickness in our household and life being busy (work, school, day care, and everything else that comes with a household of four).
We’ve had sickness for more than 4 weeks – antibiotics, cough medicine and tissues galore. One person gets sick and just as they recover another one gets sick. The routine for many households. I kept going to work because that’s what we do. I didn’t ask for any help but I should have. I should have taken a decent amount of time off work to recover properly. I didn’t. I wanted to exercise or go for a run as it’s something I love and my time out. I didn’t do it. I didn’t want to feel selfish or guilty, and that landed me with a second round of antibiotics.
For some reason we feel selfish by asking for help or having time out whether we’re sick or not. Is it selfish to want to finish a meal or a cup of tea before moving onto the next chore? Is it selfish to want to shower in peace (just a quick shower)? Is it selfish to want to go for a run and feel better for it? Is it selfish to want to have some ‘me’ time?
Whether it is or not I’m going to have some ‘me’ time and hopefully that selfish feeling will have a day off. The first half of this year has been busy, very busy. I feel like I’m constantly on the go, constantly trying to keep up with life. And recently I had a lightbulb moment when I realised I need time out before I hit the brick wall that appears every so often.
A girlfriend and I recently had a day/night to ourselves and as much as I wondered if the kids were okay/getting to their activities on time/eating dinner etc, I didn’t feel selfish for having lunch by myself (and finishing it), taking my time to walk around (without having to drag a child with me), going to the bathroom (without hearing ‘Mummy I need you NOW!), and enjoying a comfy bed (without having to get out of it during the night to tuck kids back into bed).
NOTE: The kids would be fine because they’re with their Daddy and he’s perfectly capable of raising his children 🙂
This is not meant to be an ‘Oh woe is me’ post. It’s just every so often that light bulb moment appears when I realise that I need time out to be a better person, a better mum, and a better wife. And it’s okay to want that without feeling guilty no matter what other people think – they’re not living your life. I’m only human and everyone else gets time to themselves at some stage or taken care of by me in some shape or fashion – so I should be allowed to have that moment too.
Do you have moments of feeling ‘selfish’?
How do you get over it?